Spiritual Warfare: Self Direction, Spiritually

The title of this post is my current task. Since I returned to blogging again after my hiatus and hiatus II, I have noticed that I have not quite been up to par. That has to do with a lot of things but much of it stems from where I am in a spiritual sense. Granted we all go through "dry-spells", but this is more of being a bit "lost."

I know, I am not supposed to be –
here...

Now I am not wandering in the desert, instead I am more like a "Bear in the Snow." I have essentially found myself, like the bear, saying, "wow, I have no idea how I got here, I don't know how I failed to notice what was going on, but I probably shouldn't be somewhere quite different." It is a disconcerting feeling, as if I suddenly woke up and realize that I really don't have anyone to blame but myself, and getting back to where I need to be is going to be a lot harder then simply changing direction. All in all though, it isn't that I am in a "bad" place, but just a little - misguided. This is due mostly to the personal circumstances in my life, but alas, my blog has come to suffer because of it.

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...directing men to the heavenly home.

My concern is not for my blog, that isn't why I am upset at my current state of affairs. Instead, I am concerned because my blog is a reflection of my spiritual journey, and it is a form of spiritual direction. As I have stressed numerous times in my posts, we need to accept we are in the midst of eternal warfare. But somewhere along the way I went astray and started making this blog about being something for everyone. I started worrying about what people wanted to read and started crafting my posts in a way that would make as many readers as happy as possible. At the same time, I was beginning to come into conflict with certain readers, especially local clergy who were concerned with my tone. So I started wondering, what happened? 

I need to reclaim the focus I once had. I needed my spiritual warfare guided by spiritual direction. As Pascal Parente said in his 1950 book Spiritual Direction,

"Spiritual Direction is a cooperation with the activity of the Holy Spirit of God in the sanctification of the souls, and with the Guardian Angels in directing men to the heavenly home."

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...don't worry, I am not going soft.

I was worried that with the new call for less aggressive rhetoric, that maybe I was on the wrong path. Then, when the media announced that the Pope was calling out "conservative bloggers" I thought that I was seriously adrift...

...but then I realized that the Pope never uses language like that. In fact, time and time again he speaks against categorizing Catholics in such a way. So I looked at what the Pope actually said. Shockingly, it appears that the media has once again twisted and contorted what he said. Here is the part that really got to me. Pope Benedict XVI said, 

"we must be aware that the truth which we long to share does not derive its worth from its “popularity” or from the amount of attention it receives. We must make it known in its integrity, instead of seeking to make it acceptable or diluting it. It must become daily nourishment and not a fleeting attraction. The truth of the Gospel is not something to be consumed or used superficially; rather it is a gift that calls for a free response."

So, don't worry, I am not going soft. In fact, liberal loonies be damned. I will not scale back my message or my words. We are in a Spiritual War, and battles of epic proportion. Our eternal souls are at risk and I cannot sit idly by and watch myself and others plunge into eternal damnation. The Pope himself says that we cannot take truth and make it acceptable nor can we dilute it. 

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This blog isn't about me...

The journey forward will be tough... it always is, but that doesn't mean it isn't the right one to take. So please 'bear' with me as I journey a bit. I want to reclaim the passion in my spiritual life, but also the direction. I want my blog to again reflect the burning fire of Christ that drives us all. I want to again become the spiritual warrior that use to write blog posts with a rage of Faith that could barely be harnessed. I want people to read what I say and not necessarily love it for its sloppy construction, but I want them to get the point I am trying to make and be moved by it. I want my life and thereby my blog to be the witness that it should be. I want Christ to be present in every letter and punctuation mark. If nothing else, I want my blog to be authentically me, and authentically fierce. I don't care if I lose readers, I want to gain heaven. This blog isn't about me, or what I have to say. This blog is about what GOD has to say; I just want to be someone willing to say it.

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