I would go to my parents house and visit with my mom and dad; and due to my dad's health, he couldn't get out of bed most of the summer, so I would go into his room and talk with him and watch TV with him. They don't have cable... but after the digital transition, the new HD signal gave them extra channels. One was the Retro station.
That meant that shows like "Leave it to Beaver" were on every day, and usually when I was there. [I started making sure I was there early enough that by the time we had talked a bit, we could both focus on the show.] I remember watching this on re-runs as a little kid when I was home sick from school or half-days. It used to come on daily at around 1:30 or 2 in Detroit. [The time now occupied by such gems as Jerry Springer or Judge Judy.]I didn't realize how GOOD of a show it was! Ward Cleaver is a pretty solid father figure for TV. [Yes... I know the show was shot in the 50's]. What bothers me most about TV nowadays, is the emasculation of men. Every father is made out to be an idiot, especially in sitcoms. I know Ward wasn't perfect, but the boys respected him, June deferred to him, he dressed well, gave good advice, and was always looking out for the BEST in his boys.
Unfortunately, in todays shows men defer to the women, the kids never respect the dad, and the dad is usually the one leading the shenanigans on the show if not leading the family down a road of moral decay. For example, take the show "Modern Family." Not one dad on there is worth a damn. [Don't get me wrong... I watch the show and laugh, but I feel very very sad afterwards.] I know most of my readers don't or wouldn't watch a show like that, so lets just say that one dad is trying to be "hip and cool, and his kids friends." Another married a younger woman simply because he could. The other fathers are a gay couple who are mockeries even of gay men. So where did the Ward Cleavers of the world go in TV land? [This is a rhetorical questions... unfortunately.]
Does TV mimic life... or worse, does life mimic TV? I think that they go hand-in-hand, which is a worse case scenario. If TV doesn't portray men as leaders of the family, especially moral leaders, where will our children learn this? WHO will be the moral leaders? For decades we heard that WOMEN could lead, just like men. The Ward Cleavers were shunned and "castrated." Soon we had the 'new' man and the 'new' woman. Ward Cleaver turned into Jack Tripper [3's Company]. No longer was the "man" of the house a devoted husband, stearn but caring father, and moral dignitary. He was now a free-spirited playboy, who bounced from girl to girl, and spent 20 out of 22 minutes getting into deeper and deeper predicaments. [Much of these troubles were caused by the fact that the "man's" moral compass was no longer his brain but his....well, not his brain.] As the '70s went away and lead to the '80's things seemed to turn around a bit... at least we got Cliff Huxtable. Yet, the '90s were the downfall. No longer did we have stellar moral leaders. [Think "Al Bundy"] But even worse was the decline of the family show. Sure you had "7th Heaven" and few others that were about an entire family... but for the most part shows were about "individuals." They were a collection of people living their own lives with one goal: personal satisfaction.
Think of the dads you see on TV... now how many are dads that you would want to have... or worse yet, that you would actually want to be? I surely wouldn't want my world "According to Jim." [Something tells me you would never see Ward Cleaver looking like this] Where oh where have you gone... we miss you and need you Ward Cleaver.
So as I sat there this summer with my dad, I realized that the reason I liked Ward Cleaver so much was because that's who my dad is. Sure he had his faults and his downfalls... and sometimes he was more like some of the buffoons as opposed to the stoic moral leaders... but aren't we all? He looked good in a suit, knew when to chastise and when to console, but most of all his moral compass always seemed to point north. The one woman in his life was my mother, she knew it, he knew it, and everybody else knew it. You didn't want to make him mad, and you sure knew when he was. Most of all... I know that that when my wife told me for the first time that I was just like my dad... it was a compliment and not a slam.
So as we move into a new decade... 20 years from the '80s... and some 50 years from the 50's... I wonder if society will ever uphold the strong man again? When will fathers on TV once again be symbols of moral strength and fortitude? When will we again see the likes of Ward Cleaver?
So as I left my house for the last time before moving up here to Alaska I gave my dad one last hug, because that is what we do, and I told him I loved him... I realized that maybe Ward Cleaver isn't dead and gone... maybe he lives on in the fathers of this country...the one's who grew up with him on TV. As I left... I remembered a conversation I had with him about the show. I asked why he thought that TV didn't portray men and fathers like that anymore, and what it meant for society. He told me that we don't need TV to tell us how men and fathers should act. As a matter of fact he said that what we need is for FATHERS to SHOW their sons how to be great fathers.
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