Dear Mr. President: Salmon are no laughing matter: An Open Letter to President Obama

The State of the Union (SOTU) was last night, and although this is a quasi-political blog, I will not bore you with my play-by-play on it. You can find that sort of thing in various places that are much smarter than I am. Instead, I am writing an open letter to the President about what is being called the comment that "all anyone seems to be talking about." The Salmon joke.

Now for those of you that didn't watch, read, or listen to the speech you have no idea what I am talking about. Well the Washington Post summarizes it in an article today:

President Obama's State of the Union address focused primarily on winning the future, competitiveness and "sustaining the American dream."

But all anyone seems to remember is the salmon.

Talking about an urgent need to reorganize the federal government, Obama noted that "The Interior Department is in charge of salmon while they're in fresh water, but the Commerce Department handles them in when they're in saltwater. I hear it gets even more complicated once they're smoked."

The joke earned one of the biggest laughs of the night and has since dominated TV news recaps of the speech. It also appears to be the most well-remembered moment of the night among Americans who watched, at least according to [NPR].

What makes jokes funny is the truth element in them. Unfortunately for Alaskans, and really the rest of America, the truth element of this joke is the furthest thing from funny. So in lieu of a commentary on the speech in specifics, I am writing an Open Letter to the President regarding this joke... as I am offended as both an Alaska, and an American.

Dear Mr. President:

I write you today because of the Salmon joke you told in last nights State of the Union. As an Alaskan and as an American that depends on the health of the economy for my financial well being I found the joke ill-timed, offensive, and not the least bit funny. We often tell jokes where we understand the truth element, but don't understand how closely they cut. It is the same reason why "ethnic" jokes are funny unless you are telling them to someone of that ethnicity.

I assume that someone such as yourself, that is financially removed from the effects of the economy, doesn't understand how government regulations, taxes, and federal departmental bureaucracies are job-killing limitations that choke and strangle economic prosperity for most Americans. So I am writing you this letter to explain it, so that you won't make the same mistake twice.

You see, as an Alaska, Salmon are of huge importance. They provide both food and income for many Alaskans. In fact, the Salmon industry is critical to a good portion of the business that is done in the state and that keeps it afloat. This explanation though would be the same regardless of the industry: oil, gas, minerals, tourism, etc... Unfortunately though, the source of your joke: the over-bearing and fiercely complex regulatory scheme of the federal government stifle each and every one of these industries.

Now, to be fair I know you made this joke following a comment that we need to reorganize the federal government. Sadly though, I find your call for such a thing insincere. Your "Obama-care" health legislation flies directly in the face of such a call. In fact, for Obama care to "work" there are dozens of new federal bureaucracies that need to be created. How is this a reduction or re-organization of the government? I guess you can "reorganize" a room by throwing everything in the closet, but what does that do for all the junk, let alone the closet? It makes a bigger mess waiting to explode. Your SOTU was transparent and hollow. Your "change" has inspired "hope" for one thing - a new administration come 2012.

The fishing and hunting laws in this state are made infinitely more complex because of the federal intrusion into the state, due to all the federally owned land. Fishing is controlled at different levels depending on the nature of the water, where the fish are, and the permits and licenses involved. At an individual level dealing with such things is nearly impossible. Making things worse, is when the government plays favorites and allows for these regulations to be ignored or handicapped for certain "groups." In Alaska for example you have federal 8(a) groups that are given no-bid federal contracts.

The government was created to work for the American people, and yet we are at the point where it works against it. When a fishing family has to deal with multiple state and federal agencies for one product, it is no wonder that the economy is in the shape that it is. A single family could easily fish salt and fresh water for the same salmon and then have a smoker at home. Why should they have to jump through the hoops of at least 3 federal departments, agencies, and bureaucracies? These socialist control measures are anti-American.

If you want to re-organize, you need to reduce federal regulations. Production and American business are the key to economic future and the prosperity of generations to come. Freezing spending, reorganization of the government, and innovation are smoke and mirrors and the words of a socialist. We need to succeed with the resources and people we have here and today. As Congressman Young says "production is the key to our future, not gestures.” He is right Mr. President. We can freeze, reorganize, and shift the government around all we want, but we will still drown.

We are over-spending, driving up the debt, adding rockets to the sky-rocketing deficit, and strangulating the economy with the bloated bureaucracies we currently have. We must reduce the government in all possible ways. That means less spending, less regulation, less services, less laws, less workers, less intervention, less EVERYTHING!

Mr. President, your joke wasn't funny. People in Alaska feel the effects of the government everyday. We pay more for car fuel that 95% of America does, and we are sitting on Oil Fields. Why? Because of federal regulation. We have more trees than any state in the union, but our timber production is miniscule compared that of other states. Why? Federal regulation. Our fishing industry has new laws and restrictions every year - from the federal government. Salmon are no laughing matter to us.

This joke goes to show how out of touch with the average American you really are. It also shows how out of touch with our economic problems you really are as well. It isn't that I am sensitive, it is that we need a President that isn't making jokes about our drowning economy but doing something to stop our country from going bankrupt. Every time I look at my daughter I wonder how her generation is going to pay the debt that my generation incurred. And for what? How are we better off with more government? How has more spending helped us? Didn't you recently have Halibut at the Press Lunch prior to the SOTU? Well, new federal regulations are in place this year on the Halibut fisheries, so if I were you I wouldn't plan on putting that on the menu again next year.

In closing I leave you with a joke of my own, and don't worry it isn't the one about the "'Mama Grizzly' and the Salmon." Here it goes:
"What do you call a one-term president who went to Harvard?"
Oh I am sorry, is that not funny to you sir?

Sincerely,

An American

I know that it was a tad more polite than I should have been, but you attract more flies with honey than vinegar.

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