Let’s face it, most of us seldom feel we ever have enough time to accomplish all the important things in our personal and professional lives. Just the same, accepting this as unmanageable is often an excuse for inaction.
Granted, as social beings, we are all obligated to interact with others. And it's a given that our interactions, whether as family members, employees, or citizens, will often conflict. However, when individuals react to these conflicts by trying to please everyone, the result is they usually end up pleasing no one, including themselves.
As with most Time Management Strategies, start with ranking your priorities. But recognizing that others' priorities may hold sway over your own, try organizing your tasks or commitments as follows:
* Things that must be done
Anything with a specific date or deadline would fall under this category. Work deadlines are obvious, but don't forget civic and family commitments as well. Priorities placed in this category tend to be firm and non-negotiable, such as going to work, answering a jury summons, or attending your child's graduation.
* Things that should be done
These could include ordinary job tasks without a firm deadline, as well as certain reoccurring social and family activities. While important, these would include any activities that could be reasonably deferred or delayed without serious consequences. In such cases, however, be cautious that the same people or activities are not being habitually relegated to this lower priority.
* Things that could be done
For this category, include any non-critical job requests, favors or social activities that can be scheduled at your prerogative. In some cases, these activities can be ignored altogether, or at least until until someone follows up with you.
Of course, organizing one's time in neat little categories is no panacea as life is dynamic and new priorities change and emerge without much warning. With this being said, one's ability to adapt and re-prioritize is critical. This is a Time Management issue for sure, but it is an interpersonal issue as well.
This brings us to the next step in Managing Time, i.e., learning to say "no".
There is no denying that it is often difficult and uncomfortable to postpone a request or bow out of a social responsibility. But many times priorities have to be shuffled, and when this happens, it's a sure bet someone will end up disappointed or angry with you.
In order to handle these situations effectively, one must be assertive for sure, but assertiveness must be tempered by empathy and diplomacy. Keep in mind that in most professional and social situations "no" doesn't have to mean "never", and it should be conveyed as such.
It goes without saying that even though a particular priority may shift for you, it may not shift for someone else. Thus, you may have to renegotiate a new deadline or commitment. This may not endear yourself to the affected party, but at least you have taken steps to ameliorate the situation and perhaps defuse a potential relationship problem as well.
But what does one do when the affected party refuses to renegotiate a deadline or commitment?
In such a case, the obvious solution is to re-rank your priority. And if this is not possible, then consider having a trusted "stand in" or backup fill in for you. This may not be appropriate for some social commitments, but it is usually an acceptable practice for work-related matters.
In the end, you may not be able to control others, but you can control yourself. And your ability and willingness to do this will go a long way towards helping you gain some semblance of control over your available time.
Jack
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